Your project's token price just evaporated 70% in 7 minutes? Relax, just use this playbook for damage control and you can potentially get away with it. The Founder Damage-Control checklist • Signal immediate innocence: fire off a tweet saying “Our team tokens are still locked. We didn’t sell a single token.” This is your first line of defence and make sure not to let them know about your side wallets • Shadow Villain: Blame “coordinated CEX liquidations,” “malicious actors (throw your market maker under the bus),” or “low-liquidity Sunday Asia hours.” • Bonus points: sprinkle some insider conspiracy without naming names • Pump those vanity metrics: its fine, no one can verify these numbers anyway --> “200M+ volume, mainnet operational, 20 projects still building in the ecosystem, zero downtime.” Remind them you’re “heads-down building.” • Practice gratitude: Thank your community, investors, retail, airdrop farmers, your mom --> basically anyone who still bothers to read • Play the victim card: vulnerability is key --> “These have been incredibly tough 36 hours.” You want maximum sympathy • Promise transparency (after the incident occurs): Announce some “detailed post-mortem” that will be published “within 24 hours." • Give people some hopium: Tease a token burn, buy-back and burn, or fee-share program --> its all about juicing the narrative to satisfy your audience • Security PSA: Don't forget to remind people about security/ issue a scam warning (after you have scammed them) about fake links and impostor accounts • Pin the thread, close Twitter, and let the CT anons argue. Your job is done By following this script, you will… • Buy yourself 48–72 hours of silence (or madness) while CT argues over whose fault it really is • Shift blame from insider dumps to an invisible cabal of evil liquidators (nobody needs to know who these invisible bad guys are) • Rebrand catastrophic sell-offs as bullish “building season" (again, emphasise that you are "heads down building") Bonus: Don't forget to add the — in your public statements, they need to know it was an AI who wrote the article.